Dominican man Geraldo Ramos hasn’t the slightest clue, but told a TV station that he woke up with no penis after blacking out drunk the night before.

The 64-year-old says he simply cannot recall the point in between being very inebriated and getting rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery on his dismembered “member.”

Neighbors offered a little clarity, and claim that a drunken, naked Ramos was attacked by a dog.

ission.