Quitting Is No Option
BY CLARENCE BARR, II
Being in prison has got to be one of the worse experiences a human being can endure. It is loud, intrusive, and violent. The food is terrible and if you’re a heterosexual (male or female) it’s the equivalent of being stranded on a deserted island.
On most mornings it’s a struggle just to get out of bed. The idea of facing another day of engaging in meaningless conversations with individuals who care as little about you as you do of them, is unbearable to say the least.
People on the street often ask me how I maintain a positive outlook in spite of it all? My answer is always the same…. I really don’t have a choice.
I can dwell on the negatives I mentioned earlier and turn into a pill popping bug, or I can at least make the best of a bad situation. Besides, jumping from the top tier or hanging myself from a rail would probably hurt like hell.
Granted, I didn’t always have this mindset. When I came into the system I didn’t know how I was going to adjust. But when I met men with two and three life sentences living their lives the best they could, I realized that I had absolutely no room to complain.
I became like the man in a popular metaphor I once heard. He felt sorry for himself for not having any shoes. But when he noticed the man without feet, he realized that things could have been a lot worse.
It is that same thinking that makes it hard for me to have sympathy for those who even attempt to commit suicide. Individuals who may have run across a rough patch, but who were otherwise healthy enough to at least stand.
When I hear about people taking their own lives my initial reaction is always that they took the easy way out. They weren’t tough enough to deal with the bull crap like the rest of us.
It bothers me more when I think about the individuals who are desperately trying to hold on to life. Those who are fighting off things like cancer, starvation and other ailments. I mean, these are people who are trying to survive any way they can. For me to shed a tear for someone who falls weak while dealing with issues half as agonizing, in some way, seems unfair.
What those who contemplate taking the dark alternative to living seem to not understand is that life is never easy. There is always going to be some turbulence and the decisions we make sometimes make things even harder.
I guess some people never truly realize that no matter how bad things get, there will always be better days. You just have to learn how to hold on, while keeping your head up, until they come along.
Anyone wanting to contact Clarence Barr can reach him at: Clarence Barr, II, 43110-018; P. O. Box 7007; Marianna, FL 32447-7007. Reality On Ice is © by the Florida Sentinel Bulletin Publishing Company.
