In the continuing attempt to make this country as soft as possible, there’s now the “Madre Hill” rule. A rule that prohibits young players from scoring too many touchdowns.

Meet 11-year-old running back, Demias Jimerson, who plays in Arkansas’ Wilson Intermediate League. Jimerson is so good that the league implemented a little known rule named after Arkansas Razorbacks great, Madre Hill. If a player has already scored three touchdowns and his team has a 14-point lead, then he’s banned from the endzone.

I’m somewhat confused here. If Jimerson gets close to the goal line, is he supposed to fall down and do snow angels or is there some kind of invisible fence that shocks him and prevents him from scoring? Inquiring minds want to know.