{"id":3544,"date":"2011-02-10T16:04:25","date_gmt":"2011-02-10T21:04:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/?p=3544"},"modified":"2011-02-14T08:47:06","modified_gmt":"2011-02-14T13:47:06","slug":"157-years-of-making-love-last-tips-from-the-people-who-know","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/?p=3544","title":{"rendered":"157 Years Of Making Love Last: Tips From The People Who Know"},"content":{"rendered":"

Mr.<\/strong> and Mrs. Ernest (Elvira) Pinder<\/strong>; Mr.<\/strong> and Mrs. Carl (Jewel) Warren<\/strong>; Mr.<\/strong> and Mrs. Oscar (Juanita) Young<\/strong>; and Mr.<\/strong> and Mrs. Vince (Gladys) Worlds<\/strong> have a combined 157 years experience in making love last. They shared their tips on how to make love last.<\/p>\n

Taking their mission of \u201cTil Death Do Us Part\u201d seriously, the couples talk about: The Misconception of Marriage, Sexual Harmony, Finances, and Sustaining Through Tough Times.<\/p>\n

Although the couples were interviewed separately, their answers were amazingly very similar.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Ernest & Elvira Pinder<\/p><\/div>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Carl & Jewel Warren<\/p><\/div>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Oscar & Juanita Young<\/p><\/div>\n

Mission:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Til Death Do Us Part.\u00a0 That promise seems almost a foregone conclusion with money problems, personality issues, differing spiritual and child rearing beliefs.\u00a0 The end result is a divorce rate that’s tipping the charts and the future of the family in jeopardy.<\/p>\n

As couples across the country prepare to honor those they “love” with candy, cards, flowers and such, we wanted to know, in the words of Patty Austin<\/strong> and James Ingram<\/strong>, “How Do You Keep the Music Playing?”\u00a0 in love and most importantly marriage.\u00a0 So, we set out to get answers from the experts:\u00a0 couples who’ve been through the trenches and back and are still going strong.<\/p>\n

We talked to four married couples who have a combined total of 157 years of marriage under their belts.\u00a0 No subject was off limits.\u00a0 They share their feelings on matters from the Bible to the bedroom and how they’ve managed to keep it together over the years.<\/p>\n

The couples are Ernest<\/strong> and Elvira Pinder<\/strong>, married 57 years.\u00a0 Carl<\/strong> and Jewel Warren<\/strong>, married 41 years. Oscar<\/strong> and Juanita Young<\/strong> celebrate 35 years this month and Vince<\/strong> and Gladys World<\/strong>s, married 23 years.<\/p>\n

Topic 1: The Misconception Of Marriage<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pinders: <\/strong>
\nShe says: “The biggest misconception I would say is most young people get married without trust.\u00a0 Most of them are independent when they get married to each other and they don’t pull themselves together with each other.”<\/p>\n

He says: “Trust and respect, that’s all it is.\u00a0 They think the grass is always greener, but that\u00eds the biggest mistake they can make. Leave that other one alone. Period.\u00a0 Don’t go out with your eyes on another.\u00a0 Be truthful and faithful to the one at home.”<\/p>\n

Warrens:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “Thinking you have to agree on everything.\u00a0 You should be able to agree to disagree. Accept each other. Don\u00edt marry to try to change each other.\u00a0 Just try to change yourself and if you love each other as you love yourself it\u00edll work itself out and it\u00edll end up changing for the better.\u00ee<\/p>\n

He says: “You need to put something in it to get something out of it.\u00a0 If you don\u00edt, it won\u00edt work.\u00ee<\/p>\n

Youngs:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “People think that because they get married it\u00eds going to work, but marriage is a work in progress.\u00a0 You have to get in there, roll up your sleeves and be willing to fight to make your marriage work.\u00a0 It takes two.\u00a0 One person can not make a marriage work.”<\/p>\n

He says: “The man says, ‘I\u00edm the man of this house, I run everything, I run this house.’ The woman also plays a very important role. There are some things that the woman is better equipped to do. Just because you’re the man of the house does not mean everything has to also go your way. ”<\/p>\n

Worlds:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “I think the biggest misconception is what a perfect marriage is, not realizing that a perfect marriage is going to vary from couple to couple.\u00ee<\/p>\n

He says:\u00a0 “I think the biggest misconception about marriage is that you or your partner have to see eye to eye on everything.\u00a0 People don’t realize you’re not perfect and your partner is not perfect. You are two imperfect people in an unconditional relationship.”<\/p>\n

Topic 2: Sexual Harmony<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pinders:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “In keeping with the Bible, it tells us the woman does not have control of her body nor the man his. In other words, we should be submissive to each other whenever the time.\u00a0 You should never deny your partner.\u00a0 You should always be ready and submissive to that partner.”<\/p>\n

He says: “Ditto.”<\/p>\n

Warrens:<\/strong>
\nShe says: \u00ecTry to think of the other person’s needs as much as your needs.\u00a0 Sexual harmony is not always the act, but being able to be loving.\u00a0 Write love notes. I just found one that I wrote Carl years ago.”\u00a0 The date was July 23, 1995.\u00a0 It simply read: “To Carl<\/strong> from Jewel<\/strong>: Just because I love you.”<\/p>\n

He says: “I agree.”<\/p>\n

Youngs:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “The Bible makes it clear, your body is not your own.\u00a0 You can’t be saying ‘no, no, no.’\u00a0 You have to make time.\u00a0 Even with the kids. Even with work.\u00a0 Nothing should get in between a husband and a wife.”<\/p>\n

He says: “I found very early in our marriage that I had to romance my wife.\u00a0 When you do that, it just makes sex better.\u00a0 She’s not turned on as quick as I am.”<\/p>\n

Worlds:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “A healthy sexual relationship begins before the bedroom.\u00a0 To me, it helps to keep the romance alive outside of the bedroom, so that when you get to the bedroom it’s a natural progression.”<\/p>\n

He Says: “Continue to date and to create an atmosphere that’s conducive for romance.”\u00a0 It could be as simple as “going up the street to Chili’s and having an appetizer.”<\/p>\n

Topic 3: Finances<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pinders:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “It’s always been said the quickest way to break-up a marriage is finances.\u00a0 Today, couples come together with good jobs and independence.\u00a0 ‘I have mine, he has his.’\u00a0 They start separate.\u00a0 But you’ve got to work together and pull together to make your finances work. They split the bills down the middle, ‘you pay this, I pay that,’ but It’s not supposed to be that way.”<\/p>\n

He says: “Absolutely not.”<\/p>\n

Warrens:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “We didn\u00edt ever have this was his and this was mine. We brought all of our checks together and paid to the church, paid ourselves next and then the bills. And we still do that now.\u00a0 We have good humor about money.”<\/p>\n

He says: “Absolutely.”<\/p>\n

Youngs:<\/strong>
\nHe says: “We always put our money together. Her check was my check and my check was her check.\u00a0 We always had one checking account. One credit card.\u00a0 If there was something that needed to be done and she made more money this week, it always went into one pile.\u00a0 I didn\u00edt have no little private stash.\u00a0 I think that’s the way it should be because the Bible says ‘the two shall become one.”<\/p>\n

She says: “\u00ecI don’t handle the checking account. He’s better at it than me and I don\u00edt have a problem with that.\u00a0 Whoever is better at managing, then let that person.\u00a0 If one fails everyone fails.”<\/p>\n

Worlds:<\/strong>
\nHe says: “I would say tithing and working as a team. We don\u00edt split. We work out of one big pot. Her money is my money and my money is her money.”<\/p>\n

She says: “I didn’t say that. My money is my money!\u00a0 No, I’m just kidding.” (she laughs)<\/p>\n

Topic 4: Sustaining Through Tough Times<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pinders:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “Prayer, trusting in God and leaning on each other.”<\/p>\n

He says: “Putting God first and leaning on each other.”<\/p>\n

Warrens:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “In tough times, that’s really when you stay on your knees and really look towards the Lord for comfort and strength.\u00a0 What was tough today, when the morning comes, it’s not as heavy.”<\/p>\n

He says: “Don’t let something try to come in between you, try to take you away from what you should be doing.\u00a0 Continue to work at it.”<\/p>\n

Youngs:<\/strong>
\nShe says:\u00a0 “Knowing that God brought us together. There is a plaque I made even before I meet Oscar.\u00a0 Not realizing the significance.\u00a0 It still hangs over our door. It reads, ‘Christ is the head of this house, the unseen host at every meal the silent listener to every conversation.'”<\/p>\n

He says: “That sums it up. Basically we always put God first. We built on that foundation. We always qualified it with the word. If it didn\u00edt match up with the word we tried not do it. The word is a correcting rod that draws us closer together.”<\/p>\n

Worlds:<\/strong>
\nShe says: “Knowing we were committed to marriage. We embraced early on that marriage is a lifetime commitment.”<\/p>\n

He says: “The pastor who married us taught us that there is no divorce.\u00a0 ‘You have problems she has problems but that doesn’t matter.’\u00a0 It’s unconditional commitment.”<\/p>\n

Topic 5: Their Best Advice<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pinders:<\/strong>
\nHe said: “I told my wife in the beginning of the marriage, don\u2019t believe what people say about me and I won\u2019t about you.\u00a0 I bought her a Volkswagen to travel to school at Gibbs Junior College, because Blacks couldn\u2019t go to school in Tampa at that time.\u00a0 One of Vi<\/strong>\u2019s classmates couldn\u2019t wait to see her to tell her she saw me Saturday night in the car with this woman. So Vi<\/strong> said, ‘Not my husband!’\u00a0 She [the woman] was dying to say it was me.\u00a0 But it was a friend of mine.\u00a0 We had similar cars. So that was one thing that proved to Vi<\/strong>, you don\u2019t believe one thing people say about your husband or wife.”<\/p>\n

She said: “I think it\u2019s very important for parents to show love, honor and respect in front of their children, so when those children become adults they can build strong marriages. Seeing their parents being loving and kind helps to form their thoughts and ideas about marriage.”<\/p>\n

Warrens:<\/strong>
\nShe said:\u00a0 \u201cI think sometimes we\u2019re so career oriented of trying to attain, attain, attain.\u00a0 We look to make the milestones in our career and have left out someone who would make a good mate. A good man is really worth more than some of those things you\u2019re trying to reach for, because in the end, those things really don\u2019t have any value.\u00a0 I’m not saying don’t have a career, but do everything with balance.\u201d<\/p>\n

He said: Work to live a life with no regrets. “At our age now, we don\u2019t have any regrets.\u00a0 We don\u2019t wish we had done, because we have done.\u201d<\/p>\n

Youngs:<\/strong>
\nHe said: “The Bible says live with your wife according to knowledge and once you know your spouse you can work within those things.\u00a0 If not, it will cause a lot of problems in the marriage. Once you know that person you can grow with that person.\u201d<\/p>\n

She said: “There\u2019s a saying ‘don\u2019t marry the person you can\u2019t live without, marry the person you can live with.’\u201d<\/p>\n

Worlds:<\/strong>
\nHe said: “People have this idea about what marriage is by what\u2019s on TV or looking at other couples.\u201d\u00a0 Don’t try to mimic others.<\/p>\n

She said:\u00a0 \u201cIt helps to come to an agreement on financial goals.\u00a0 Those goals then help you make day to day decisions, long range\/short term, which help make financial decisions a little easier.\u201d
\nTopic 6: The Kids <\/strong><\/p>\n

Pinders:<\/strong>
\nHe said: “I lived a life real careful to be a beautiful role model to my children.\u00a0 My son has told me I\u2019ve built a tough road for him to follow. He says it\u2019s a strong positive role, but still tough to follow.\u00a0 He\u2019s been married now for 32 years. My daughter\u2019s been married 27 years.\u00a0 They\u2019re both still together with their spouses doing real good.\u00a0 I think I\u2019m the only somebody who\u2019ll walk up and kiss their son.\u00a0 I don\u2019t mind.\u00a0 I love my son and I don\u2019t care what people think.\u00a0 I hug and kiss my children.\u201d<\/p>\n

She said: \u201cOne Sunday out of every month, we have dinner at home with the kids.\u00a0 We used to extend that to the extended family to keep the family together.\u00a0 It is important to still show love and togetherness even after the kids leave home.\u201d<\/p>\n

Warrens<\/strong>:
\nShe said: “We still hug and still affectionately kiss each other and our children see it.\u00a0 It\u2019s a natural thing. It\u2019s not something I feel I need to do, but want to do. I think when we guard our hearts, everything else is guarded. As the Bible says, ‘out of your heart flows the issues of life.’ You don\u2019t have to think too much about what you do because your emotions pretty much stay in tuned to your thoughts. \u201d<\/p>\n

He said: The kids have been such a positive influence on me since I’ve been sick. Their love and support increases my will to want to get better.\u00a0 Their presence is my medicine.\u00a0 I imagine if I had not set a good example for them over the years, I would not get this kind of support from them.\u00a0\u00a0 I’m grateful to not only have the support of my kids in my time of need, but the support of my grandkids, too.”<\/p>\n

Youngs: <\/strong>
\nHe said: “We are role models for our children. Our children respect us as parents.\u00a0 It’s incumbent upon us to be parents to them and not equals.\u00a0 The Bible says we are to ‘train them in the way they should go.’ If we are not living in a way they can see, we are falling short in our role as parents.\u201d<\/p>\n

She said:\u00a0 \u201cI look at the way our children handle themselves, the things that we did are things that they do as a family now.\u00a0 I see my son with the two children, he plays at the park he coaches and these are things we did with them.\u00a0 When they have a problem, they call us. If we didn\u2019t set the example where would they go?\u00a0 Most importantly,\u00a0 they heard us pray. We taught them how to pray. Your kids should not be looking to someone else as an example.\u201d<\/p>\n

Worlds:<\/strong>
\nShe said: “I think the communication between us as a couple and as parents is an example to our kids how to maintain a healthy relationship.\u00a0 My parents died early in our marriage, but I had the opportunity to observe them and Vince observed his parents and they gave us an image of what a marriage should be and the importance of being a family.\u201d<\/p>\n

He said: “What\u2019s interesting to me is the fact that I have boys and they see the way I treat their mom.\u00a0 They say I spoil her and she always gets what she wants.\u00a0 I think by them seeing how I put her first serves as a good template for them.\u00a0 My day to day actions towards her speak for themselves as the image I\u2019d like them to have on how they\u2019ll treat their spouse.\u201d<\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/strong><\/p>\n

Those were just a few of the issues tackled.\u00a0 Each couple was interviewed separately, but amazingly their answers were across the board very similar.\u00a0\u00a0 They all say the key is prayer and mutual respect for one another.<\/p>\n

They also all say they are watching the seeds they’ve sown flourish in the lives of their children.\u00a0 The Pinders, Warrens and Youngs all have adult children who are now married with children of their own.\u00a0 They say those marriages are also going strong and they credit the examples they’ve set as one of the reasons.<\/p>\n

The Worlds’ children are under the age of 20, but the couple sees that even now, the groundwork has been laid for how their sons will treat their future wives.<\/p>\n

And so, there you have it.\u00a0 Advice from the experts on all things love, family, marriage and commitment.\u00a0 May those of us who are still working to forge a meaningful legacy be inspired to move forward in confidence and determination.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mr. and Mrs. Ernest (Elvira) Pinder; Mr. and Mrs. Carl (Jewel) Warren; Mr. and Mrs. Oscar (Juanita) Young; and Mr. and Mrs. Vince (Gladys) Worlds have a combined 157 years experience in making love last. They shared their tips on how to make love last. Taking their mission of \u201cTil Death Do Us Part\u201d seriously, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":210,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pmpro_default_level":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3544","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-local-news","pmpro-has-access"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3544","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/210"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3544"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3544\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flsentinel.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}